For the second time in recent memory I had The FUD and Michael Barrymore's Swim Team right in front of me trying to mindfuck each other off The Beast. Last time The FUD was the victor, so it was Barrymore's revenge as Big John from MBST missed all the hot spots and was Alwight on The Night.

Jim Davidson's not out on bail for nothing though, and the £50 will increase to £75 next week because not even the mighty FUD could claim the cash.

Clear evidence tonight that school is back, as the fake ID's were all out in force, no doubt encouraged by the crazy prices at Gallus January sale where there's a £1 bottle of beer and £1 mulled cider going down too. 

That's better value than Primark!
Next time then it's a £75 cash jackpot - which is actually enough to buy Primark.

Chin chin

Sir James

The Bottle Merchants dominated the quiz tonight. Only the FUD could come close to MINDFUCKING them away from the winners prize. In an evening of high-score quizzing The Bottle Merchants claimed victory by only getting ONE answer wrong. An awesome night for The Bottlers.

Here’s how it finished...
The Bottle Merchants  Winners + Fun Guys
FUD
Michael Barrymore’s Swim Team
Spudguns
The Honeymonsters
Beginners Luck
Handsfree Lightsabres  Applause 

Former champions Handsfree Lightsabres were obviously too tanked up on St Enoch’s Xmas Market “Mulled Cider” - rumour has it the main ingredient is Frosty Jack’s. Awkward.

The Beast was on erratic form, stopping the FUD from his usual mindfuck routine and helping The Honeymonsters win the cash! Here they are making holes in the cloth on the pool table to celebrate their win.

Next week then it’s another £25 cash giveaway in Gallus.
Come and get it!

Chin chin

Sir James

A subdued night in Gallus...
 
We had 11 quizteams, but unusually there were a few spare tables! 
No doubt everyone is saving themselves for next week's double dip quiz - when there's the chance to win the at the Pourhouse with a pie from 6:30pm and then onto Bar Gallus...

Handsfree Lightsabres were at the Bungo quiz last night getting some practice in, and their strategy seems to have worked as they had a comfortable lead most of the night. In the end it came down to a single point between the Sabres and the 2nd place Swimteam, but it was the Sabres who triumphed!

Here's how it finished...
Handsfree Lightsabres  Winners
Michael Barrymore's Swim Team
The Bottle Merchants
F.U.D.
The Swinging Pendulum
The Honeymonsters
Saudi Cowboys
I'm not a gynaecologist, but I'll have a look anyway
I am Kaiser Sose
Death or Glory: Steptoe & Son  Funsters
Emma  Applause

An intriguing turn of events as much maligned Honeymonsters accused Handsfree Lightsabres of not having a life outside the quiz. That's the same Honeymonsters that came to all my quizzes the other week in case you're wondering. Reminds me of the time John Terry called a referee a philandering racist. I wonder if they meant to ask what Handsfree Lightsabres are doing when they aren't winning a quiz? No sour grapes here I'm sure...

Funsters Steptoe and Son were overjoyed to avoid the round of applause.
They were so happy with their performance they started making plans to bring a bigger team next time - steady on lads! As you can see from their beautiful poster it's a £100 rollover situation next week.

It was one of the many John's from Michael Barrymore's Swim Team who was beaten by The Beast, so to cheer him up I posted a classic Barrymore clip on his Facebook. I'm good like that.

Next week an EXTRA Weds night quiz AND a £100 rollover then...

Chin chin

Sir James

Turns out there's nothing Sub-standard about Sub-Atomic Leslie. Not only did they 'come from behind' (oops pardon) to win the quiz - Team Captain Lucy knew the answer to The Beast's Bastard Question too. Only bad news was Ken who had come up to face The Beast had other ideas and overruled Lucy. Ouch.

It means The Beast keeps the cash and rolls it up to £50. Thankfully Funnest Team B&H did a terrific Jimmy Savile inspired poster to help draw the crowds next week. 

A busy night in Bar Gallus - The Honeymonsters had another 5-point bonus round win to take a lead that only they could throw away - so here's how it finished...

Sub-Atomic Leslie  Winners
2= Spudguns
2= The Quizzlies
2= Handsfree Lightsabres - Letting someone else win for a change
if yer da wisnae yer da - would ye?
Jimmy Savile's 6 inch Pink cigar - AKA The Honeymonsters
Politburo
Burlesque Bear
B+H
Michael Barrymore's Swim Team
F.U.D.
Mrs Burton
The 9" Grinders
Ute Rules  Round of Applause!
Zoots

Next week then it's £50 and I promise to award the Funnest Team accolade to a joke that doesn't involve Creme Brûlée.

Chin chin

Sir James

A bustling night in Bar Gallus with big winners. Usually The Bottle Merchants "bottle it", but Sex Machine Chris wasn't one to be swayed by the crowd and so stuck to his guns despite being disowned by his team mate.

Lucky for Gallus's funkiest bottle he was right to ignore the crowd and so claimed £175 to leave The Beast crying like a racist baby.

Only one team name was so sick that when I read it aloud a bit of my soul died. Thankfully only one team complained - not about my soul dying, about the bad taste team name.

Here's how it ended...
The Bottle Merchants Cash & Booze Winners
Sub-Atomic Leslie
MBST
The Honeymonsters & FUD
B&H
As I Read This I am Concealing a MASSIVE Boner
Quizzly Bears
My Cousins a Tart
That's Between me and My Priest
And with the most points... Shared Applause

It started well for Quizzly Bears who took an early lead - until a Titanic disaster of a music round. Honeymonsters then took hold of the pack - but no-one could stop the awe of Sex Machine Chris after The Bottle Merchants won the Bonus Points.

A big welcome back to My Cousins a Tart, and Atomic Leslie who will no doubt be forces to be reckoned with chasing next week's £25.

Chowmein!

Sir James 

A busy night in Bar Gallus with multiple winners...

Handsfree Lightsabres booked their place at my Champions Quiz and were awarded funnest team for a joke so funny it's in my weekly email.

Honeymonsters - Virgins until they were 13 GAMBLED and came up smelling of Tuborg as they claimed the winners prize.

The other main winner of the night was 50 Shades of Gay and timezone expert Stu here who got his hands on the £150 cash jackpot - nice work. Michael Barrymore's Swimteam suggested they might use it to put animals up their arses. Just jealousy I'm sure...

Here's how it finished...
Honeymonsters - Winners
Spudguns
The Bottle Merchants
50 Shades of Gay - Cash Champs
50 Shades of Desperate
Michael Barrymore's Swim Team
Atomic Leslie
Jade Goody's Hairdryer
Quizzley Bears
Sober Team = Poor Result
Me, Myself & I
Handsfree Lightsabres
Power Bottom for Jesus
Steptoe & Son

A big well done to The Handsfree Lightsabres who became the first team to secure their place at my Champions Quiz extravaganza.

Next week the cash jackpot is back to £25, but the banter will be worth twice that.

Chin chin

Sir James

A boisterous night in Gallus where everyone had an opinion on whether it was higher or lower on the cards. Only chap that knew the answer was Chris.

According to his team mate Gillian, Chris is a cock. I was interested to see she didn't change her mind when he won the money. £50 quid up, and still a cock she said. Shame.

Rumour has it Barman Martin was pictured in the Picture Round sheet getting his end away, a gentleman never tells though - so we'll launch straight into where teams finished!

Danny McGrain Loves Bacon     Winner
Spudguns
The Bottle Merchants
Atomic Leslie
Jack Douglas Tea Set
6= Scott and The Quiffs
6= Inmates
8=Handsfree Lightsabres
8=2 Ladies & The Bastards
Michael Barrymore's Swimteam
Boaby Daft is Dead
Blood Sweat and Beers

We waved goodbye to Michael Barrymore's Swim Team who are off on a 3 week pool party - Ullapool that is. Next week half the money - it's back to £25 but it will probably be twice the fun!

Sir James