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Win Millions or an £85 Rollover: You Decide!

26/2/2013

 
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The shock disappearance of The Pirates, a special guest appearance from Alkie John and some serious shouts of "Horn" - yes, it was another stonking West Highland Gate Beef quiz!

Taking the winners crown was old school hardcore quiz regulars 2 Pints. Tequila Mockingbird had the lead twice during the night, but couldn't hold on to claim the booze for themselves. Chances are they will remember the Mystery Answer next week!

Also in attendance "newly" named Team Steven (said in a high pitch voice). The Honeymonsters and Steven Hawking's Football Boots couldn't fool the crowd though, they still knew to boo.

Big Dave propped up the bar as if he was Alkie John's only friend. True story.

Next week's choice is obvious then, either you try to get the millions on offer from the lottery, or you go for the £85 + 10Kr quiz rollover jackpot. 

Chowmein!

£70 Jackpot after Honeymonsters simulate a Jack-off!

18/2/2013

 
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Another boisterous night of "Horn" shouting in Milngavie led to The Pirates being crowned funnest bastards in the pub and Winners too. Boom.

If there's one thing the quiz brings to the pub, it's a lot of gas - and thank god it did as there was no gas for the beer pumps. Another crisis averted thanks to the quiz!

2 Pints were gutted to miss out on 2nd place by a single point as they were beaten into third by their old enemy The Honeymonsters.

Looking at the feedback forms, The Honeymonsters had provided one of the more ink-filled entries, though there was a lack of coherence to it, as you can see...
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The Allegation was Sexual Frustration
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The Response was simulated masturbation!
I suggested it looked like the product of deep sexual frustrations and warped minds. Their defence of these allegations was simulated masturbation with their answer slip... So as you can see, there's clearly no pent up issues here they need to deal with. Ahem...

Round of applause for last place went to the lovely Amy and her team Universally Challenged who lived up to their name withs a joke was so bad it didn't even make sense...
Q. Did you hear about the race between the red and brown sauce?
A. The red sauce couldn't Ketch-up.
And there I was thinking red sauce was ketchup! Awkward.
Winning joke was a typical Milngavie entry combining incest, underage sex and hand jobs...
I was getting a handjob off my new girlfriend so good I couldn't believe it.
"How are you so good?" I asked
"Years of practice." She replied.
"Used to be a bit of a player in your day!" I laughed.
"No." She replied. "My dad had no arms." 
Not for the faint hearted as usual.
Next week The Beast has a £70 bounty for us (no coconut)

Chin chin

Sir James

90th Birthday Fun leads to £50.25 +10Kr Rollover!

11/2/2013

 
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It was a good old fashioned boo to the Honeymonsters tonight and even the lady celebrating her 90th birthday could be heard getting it right up them - was she supergran?!

Maybe she was, because here's how it finished...
Foxy Fingers  Winners
2= Honeymonsters 
2= 2 Pints  Fun Guys
The Pirates of The Loose Lips
Love Sponge
Big Yin & Wee Yin
Jessie's 5  Applause

Second thoughts, maybe she wasn't. Her team got my new losers badge, and her grand kids got the winners badge. But as you can see in their winners photo, there were no hard feelings...

Given that she was celebrating her 90th birthday the joke from 2 Pints was maybe a bit rude:

Q. How do you get a gay to shag a woman?
A. Shit in her Cunt.


And if you think that's inappropriate for a 90th birthday party, you should have seen their poster...
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Awkward.

Honeymonsters were feeling artistic tonight. Here's their picture sheet before and after a lager inspired creative spell. Their therapist suggests it could just be chronic sexual frustration and looking at Dr Cocktupus here, I'm inclined to agree....
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Before...
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After!

Next week it's another rollover after bar hunk Pete from Den faced The Beast and was defeated. Sorry Pete. Hopefully he'll forgive me when he wins the £200 up for grabs in Den on Thursday.

Meanwhile in Milngavie it's a £50.25 +10Kr rollover situation. That's enough to buy 26 half price 100% horse meat lasagnes. Tasty.

In other news Pirate Glen confirmed the Pirates would be putting in an appearance at my Comic Relief Quiz Saturday 9th March. He also asked me why I forgot to advertise it during the quiz. Because I forgot Glen. I can only apologise to you, and all the African orphans.

Chowmein

Sir James

V for Victory to Celebrate and a Rollover at The Beef!

4/2/2013

 
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Here you can see this week' winning team Tequila Mockingbird putting the V's up to their rivals! Way to go chaps. This will surely endear folk towards them and increase the amount of regular listeners to their new show on East Dumbartonshire Radio at http://www.mixcloud.com/edradio/. 

Personally I will be keeping one eye on the schedule at http://edradio.co.uk/ so that I can phone the guys up on air and give them their V's right back. 

In other news most of my heckles tonight were requests for a song by Sean Paul. Here is an artists impression of what Sean Paul would like if he was a dog. Woof!
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Getting the round of applause tonight Honeys Get it Right Up The Moors with Steven as Honeymonsters, Up The Moors and Steven Hawking's Football Boots all combined to make a mega-team with a combined IQ of less than the sum of their parts.

Next week it's a rollover as there is at least £30 + 10Kr. 

Chin chin

Sir James 

    The Beef

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    Beefeater, 103 Main Street, Milngavie, Glasgow,
    G62 6JQ
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September 2013
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