It was a very busy night at the Brass Monkey last week, with 9 teams taking part. 

Busy before and after, due to the McBusted concert at the Hydro, and even busier between 9pm and 11pm, due to the fact that I had £125 to give away at the quiz.

The winners on the night were the #MFs - is this the deadliest quiz team since the Honeymonsters once ruled Glasgow’s quizzes? – but, alas, their luck wasn’t in when it came to the cards.

It was their own fault, I suppose, for actually taking the cards seriously for once.

When it came to 2nd placed team Torrrrnn, they sent up a lass called Torran – hence the team name.

Very clever.

I guess it was fate that, after I “ripped” – see what I did there? - the piss out of folk with silly names last week, with Warrior and Peaches being in the news, the money was going to go to someone with the Top Trumps nonsensical names.

With the option of answering the Final Question about either Dr Who or Dr Doom, she pounced like a tiger, took the latter option, and then took home £125 due to a lucky guess.

Tora! Tora! Tora! 

Talk about a lightning attack…

The Joke Round was won by this wee cracker handed in by Herman's Musters...

Q. How many Tourette's sufferers does it twat to fuck a lightspunk?

Class in a glass!

I’ll see you next week.

Fact.

Quizguy Martin

With the passing of both The Ultimate Warrior and Peaches Geldof - you decide which one is the sillier name - the quiz was packed with people looking to do their last pub quiz before the Grim Reaper picked them off, too.

There were 7 teams in total, at the Brass Monkey, all looking to grab the chance to have a chance to win the quiz jackpot

During the quiz I trialled a new Bonus Round where all teams hand in a believable plot to a movie title I gave them (in this case ‘The Unholy Three), I pop in the actual plot, and the teams decide which one they think is the real plot.

2 points went to the teams that correctly guessed the actual correct plot, and one point for each guess that their plot gets.

Here were the options for  ‘The Unholy Three’...

1. A ‘B movie’ where a priest with multiple personality disorder hunts down sinners and kills them
2. A 1920s crime drama in which a transvestite, a midget and a strongman start their own crime gang
3. Anti porno where 3 handsome guys meet a gorgeous buxom blonde, only to find out she has no enterable holes 
4. Three IRH member conceive an elaborate plot to disguise themselves a priests, and kill the President of the United States
5. A pornographic take on the story of the 3 Wise Men
6. A delusion woman believes she hears voice from God, the Devil and Mary Mother of Christ
7. A woman dreams about Gary Glitter, onions and sperm, then awakes to find she has a phobia of all three

One of these is the actual plot to a movie called  ‘The Unholy Three’! Which one do you think is real?

Anyways, back to the quiz...

#Ultimate MFs  picked up top prize of a bottle of bubbly - minus the bubbles - but were defeated by the cards even though they decided to play fair and square for once, as opposed to playing the ‘same game’...

It went through all the team leaving last placed Young Team to give it a shot. Alison duly came up and smashed the cards in the easiest of fashions, leaving just one question between her and £100, which according to my mate, O. Pistorius, is enough money to buy 400 shotgun shells and still have enough cash left over  to purchase  a new bathroom door. Result.

She answered a question about Shitties but even with the option of four possible answers she failed meaning the jackpot rolled over to £125, which according to my mate, O. Pistorius, is enough money to buy a pretty lawyer for a day... He’s a scoundrel, so he is!

I’ll see you next week.

Fact.

Quizguy Martin

And what a lovely family friendly poster to advertise the event tonight.

Resident big-dong Quizguy Martin will present his beard for inspection later.

Word.