Caution: If you are easily offended, LOOK AWAY NOW!
What have tofu and a dildo got in common?
They're both meat replacements - Quizimodo
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist it! - Och Aye Whey Aye
How did Rihanna know Chris Brown was cheating on her?
He had a different colour lipstick on his knuckles - Maybe Alva Knows
I went into the local butcher shop and said to the guy behind the counter, "I bet you can't reach the meat on the top shelf"
"Sorry, but I can't take that bet", said the butcher..."the steaks are too high" - Up Jacob's Creek Without a Paddle
A member of the jury was identified as an ex of Oscar Pistorius. Turns out she dodged a bullet with that one - Fat Kids Always Get Caught
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam?
I can't peanut butter my cock in your ass - McNeill, get a round you cheap bastard
Where does a Russian go for a shit if they have no toilet?
A Putin - Fat Kids Always Get Caught
Jesus must be Scottish. I mean, he went out on a Friday, got hammered, and didn't rise til Sunday - Quizimodo
Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
Because she threw out all the W's - Maybe Alva knows
The class had come back in from playtime. Teacher asked Johnny, "What did you do at playtime?"
Johnny replied "I played in the sand pit."
"That's nice Johnny, if you can spell SAND correctly, I'll give you a biscuit." Johnny duly obliged and was given a biscuit. The teacher then asked Suzy what she did at playtime.
"I played in the sand pit with Johnny", replied Suzy.
"That's nice Suzy. If you can spell PIT correctly, I'll give you a biscuit."
Sure enough, Suzy spelt PIT correctly and was given a biscuit. The teacher then asked Mohammed what he did.
"I tried to play in the sand pit but Johnny and Suzy called me names and threw sand at me and wouldn't let me play."
"Oh dear", said the teacher, "that sounds like blatant racial discrimination to me. If you can spell BLATANT RACIAL DISCRIMINATION..." - Brulie
They're both meat replacements - Quizimodo
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist it! - Och Aye Whey Aye
How did Rihanna know Chris Brown was cheating on her?
He had a different colour lipstick on his knuckles - Maybe Alva Knows
I went into the local butcher shop and said to the guy behind the counter, "I bet you can't reach the meat on the top shelf"
"Sorry, but I can't take that bet", said the butcher..."the steaks are too high" - Up Jacob's Creek Without a Paddle
A member of the jury was identified as an ex of Oscar Pistorius. Turns out she dodged a bullet with that one - Fat Kids Always Get Caught
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam?
I can't peanut butter my cock in your ass - McNeill, get a round you cheap bastard
Where does a Russian go for a shit if they have no toilet?
A Putin - Fat Kids Always Get Caught
Jesus must be Scottish. I mean, he went out on a Friday, got hammered, and didn't rise til Sunday - Quizimodo
Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
Because she threw out all the W's - Maybe Alva knows
The class had come back in from playtime. Teacher asked Johnny, "What did you do at playtime?"
Johnny replied "I played in the sand pit."
"That's nice Johnny, if you can spell SAND correctly, I'll give you a biscuit." Johnny duly obliged and was given a biscuit. The teacher then asked Suzy what she did at playtime.
"I played in the sand pit with Johnny", replied Suzy.
"That's nice Suzy. If you can spell PIT correctly, I'll give you a biscuit."
Sure enough, Suzy spelt PIT correctly and was given a biscuit. The teacher then asked Mohammed what he did.
"I tried to play in the sand pit but Johnny and Suzy called me names and threw sand at me and wouldn't let me play."
"Oh dear", said the teacher, "that sounds like blatant racial discrimination to me. If you can spell BLATANT RACIAL DISCRIMINATION..." - Brulie
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