Latest info from the Quiz Mansion is that Quizmaster Scott will be back with a £100 cash jackpot to kick things off from Sunday 31st August!

No doubt this will be the lead story on the BBC local news later on tonight now that this is public knowledge.

As a mark of respect to all the football hooligans in Paisley, the Canal Station pub quiz is postponed for the duration of the tournament...

...the quiz returns soon - see you then!

A cracking bank holiday Sunday tussle saw more cash awarded to worthy winners, courtesy of the Glasgow Pub Quiz machine.
The Mighty Morphin Flower Arrangers had stolen the quiz title by a point but when it came down to business, as usual, they were fairly baws at the Play Your Cards Right. Luckily for 'Hungover Loch Awe' they weren't quite so bad and soared straight through to face the BEAST.
Without hesitation, they said 'D', and the BEAST said...'DDDDDDDDDDD'

The Savvy 6 ladies had tied with the StuKat duo in 4th, with the Chancers bringing up the rear after gambling in the 1 in 3 round.

£50 to be won this Sunday, might as well enjoy it while the BEAST is feeling generous. 8pm. Sunday

Many, MANY things have happened since the last update, so let's go over some key points...

Mac 6 were missing a knight in shining armour as the all female complement couldn't pull off the fairy tale ending and defeat The Beast, which means it's a £225 jackpot up for grabs at next Sunday's quiz (19th January).
The Mighty Morphin' Flower Arrangers continued their winning ways, securing their second win in a row, but they weren't quite mighty enough to make it past the cards. Here's how it finished:

47 Points - Mighty Morphin Flower Arrangers
38 Points - Mac 6
35 Points - The Walking, Talking, Stephen Hawkings
31 Points - Milo
26 Points - JBs (Funnest Team)
25 Points - Blueroom
13 Points - Never Been Quizzed

And here's what they looked like...

And let's have a look at some fun...

Guy goes into the doctors and puts his penis on the doctor's desk. Doctor says "What's wrong with that?"
"Nothing", he says, "It's a beauty isn't it?" - JBs


"I was so drunk one night that I lay down outside a synagogue. When I awoke, I had a heavy dew on me." - Milo


"Excuse me doctor, my husband was rushed in earlier with violent spasms in his buttocks. Do you know where he is?"
"ICU baby, shaking that ass!" - Mighty Morphin' Flower Arrangers


"What's worse than a joke with no punchline...?" - Walking, Talking, Stephen Hawkings


We may be last, but it's been fun.
We got a free pie and a comfy bum.
I may be homeless, but I love your quiz
See you next Sunday, Never Been Quizzed - Never Been Quizzed



And let's take a look back at some recent quizzy shenanigans


Here's the moment Nan's Army were awarded £200 for their efforts in the Christmas Quiz MASSIVE CASH GIVEAWAY

And some results and photos from previous weeks...

Sunday 5th January

Quiz winners - Mighty Morphin' Flower Arrangers

Sunday 29th December


49 Points - Team 3C2S
43 Points - It's OK, It's Christmas
39 Points - Mighty Morphin' Flower Arrangers
30 Points - Rainmen
25 Points - Alfee
25 Points - 3 Degrees
23 Points - Happy Quizmas
22 Points - Mac 8
22 Points - HD
19 Points - Wrong Direction
18 Points - Dumb, Dumber and Dumberer

Sunday 22nd December - Christmas Quiz MEGA CASH GIVEAWAY


Well Team Clay ended up winning by the narrowest of margins from the Mighty Morphin' Flower Arrangers, but nobody could beat the Beast to walk away with the £325 jackpot. So we ended up resorting to a super tie break round to decide who would win the Christmas cash giveaway. Nan's Army rose to the challenge when it mattered and left £200 richer.

Final standings:

52 points - Team Clay
50 points - Mighty Morphin' Flower Arrangers
43 points - Nan's Army
39 points - Strangely Brown
36 points - Team Staff
34 points - KM
28 points - Critters
24 points - Mac 10
17 points - Mary and the 5 Wise Men
12 points - Buddy the Elves

Here are the super tiebreak questions. How would you have got on?

Question 1) According to boffins, what is the ideal number of baubles you should have on a 6ft Christmas Tree? 37
Question 2) In Home Alone 2, how much was Kevin McCallister's room service bill at the Plaza Hotel? $967 
Question 3) To the nearest metre, what is the world record distance for throwing a snowball? 68m
Question 4) How many 'White Christmases' were there in the UK in the 20th Century? 7
Question 5) How many words were in the Queen's 2012 Christmas Speech? 641


And FINALLY, some snaps...

That's yer (large) lot folks. See you on Sunday for another super quiz and an even superer jackpot!

Quizmaster Scott

Well Holy Shamoly, what a cracking night we had at Canal Station Paisley. Nine teams battled it out for the £275 jackpot that had rolled over for an incredible 9 WEEKS!! In the end, every team had a crack at the cards, and every team fell at the final hurdle. So the quiz winners, Excalibur, faced THE BEAST and his multiple choice question, eventually settling on the wrong answer. The jackpot survives and climbs to a ridiculous £300 next week. Who wants some Christmas Cash eh?

Have a look at some pictures, jokes and the final standings, as well as results and some snaps from the 1st December...

Sunday 8th December:


54 points - Excalibur 
52 points - Young Guns (last week's champs)
42 points - The Chancers
38 points - The Bacchan Ali Ans (tonight's funnest team)
37 points - Mac 11
34 points - Mighty Morphin Flower Arrangers
28 points - Cupid Stunts
27 points - Just Married
15 points - Team Canal

Here's what they looked like...

And what about some fun...

What's the definition of "shambolic"?
A prosthetic testicle - The Bacchan Ali Ans


How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
Look for the 'Fresh Prints' - Mighty Morphin Flower Arrangers


There was a young lass fae Bearsden
who was trimming her pubic hair when...
She found a Santa Claus hat
that was stuck to her twat
'Cos he's jumped up the wrong chimney again! - The Young Guns


There once was a guy called Stevie T
who said he loved a girl named Fee
They got bored and came out for a drink
'cause their TV was on the blink!
Thanks for a great night,
hope we didn't give you a fright! - Just Married


What do you call a Chinese midget?
Tai Nee - Mac 11


Why do midgets laugh as they run through the garden?
Because the grass tickles their balls - Cupid Stunts


So that's yer lot! Join me next week and try and take the £300 off me and my mate THE BEAST. I dare ye!

Quizmaster Scott

P.S, whilst we're at it, this is what went down last week...


Sunday 1st December


45 Points - Young Guns (Quiz winners and Funnest Team)
41 Points - Mighty Morphin Flower Arrangers
29 Points - Mac 7
17 Points - Staff

And a couple snaps

The Neilstonians made a triumphant return to the Canal Station quiz this week and obliterated the opposition to walk away with the winner's booze. The travelling trio managed to achieve a record score of 54 points, beating their nearest opponents by a whopping 24 points (shocked face). Unfortunately they weren't too handy when it came to the cards, which also defeated this week's runners-up, The Latecomers.

The cards couldn't handle the might of quiz regulars Mac 8 this week and it was left to them to face The Beast and his £225 jackpot. A disagreement about the musical Hairspray's Broadway debut meant that The Beast claimed victory and sent Mac 8 packing leaving the jackpot at a colossal £250.

Make sure you're at Canal Station this Sunday for your chance to defeat The Beast and swipe the cash.

Two quizzes have passed since my last update and since then there has been more drama than you would find in an episode of Road Wars.
Here's what went down...

Sunday 17th November


We started with 7 and finished with 6. Sadly the Three Degrees had to slip out the backdoor (pardon) after just three rounds, but they still managed to escape the dreaded arse-bottom round of applause. That honour fell on The Staff whose multi-tasking simply couldn't keep up with the bevvying needs of the Paisley throngs, and it was their quiz score that had to suffer.

With a couple of lineup changes, the Paisley division of the Mighty Morphin Flower Arrangers were able to secure their first Canal Station victory, managing to keep quiz debutantes Macarena and last week's winners Excalibur at bouquet length.

Mac 6 had a repeat performance of the previous week, dominating early before the effects of the wine took it's toll and they plummeted down the leader board, finishing just behind this week's FUNNEST TEAM Last Plaice - team member Adam only admitting to his team's jokes when he heard a rumour there might be biscuits.


The cards provided too much of a challenge for Kieran, Margaret and Iain respectively, before Gregor proved he had enough balls to face The Beast. Unfortunately for Gregor and Last Plaice the Beast's balls were bigger and they were soon sent back whence they came. Better luck next time chaps.


So, in case you missed all of that, next week's jackpot is a stonking £225. Crispy!!


Here are the final standings and a few snaps...


46 - Mighty Morphin Flower Arrangers (first-time Canal Station winners)
37 - Macarena
36 - Excalibur (last week's winners)
32 - Last Plaice (Funnest Team)
27 - Mac 6 (holding out for that glorious win)
25 - The Three Degrees
22 - The Staff

Sunday 10th November


Plenty of teams making their Canal Station quiz debuts this week. We started strongly with 10 teams before real-life commitments ruled a couple out.

Mac 9 couldn't quite believe their luck when they found themselves in the lead heading into the final round. Sadly their delight was short-lived as newbies Excalibur claimed victory with a last gasp triumph in the deadly 1 in 3 round. 

Funnest team award went to Catch Me If You Can


Special mentions for Conjohn who managed to complete the quiz whilst tucking into a delicious Canal Station Sunday Dinner and Team Baby who managed to complete a couple of rounds whilst dealing with more children than Madonna. And not forgetting The Phaneufs and The Neilstonians, managing some respectable scores on their Canal Station debuts, hopefully we'll see you all again soon.

Here's how it finished...

44 - Excalibur
42 - Mac 9
41 - The Phaneufs
39 - Staff
39 - Mighty Morphin Flower Arrangers
36 - The Neilstonians
33 - Catch Me If You Can
33 - Conjohn
11 - Team Baby
9 - Davey

And this is what they looked like...

That's all from me for now. Remember, you've got to have big balls to beat THE BEAST. £225 says I'll see you next time!

Lots of love

Scott

Well it's been a few weeks since the restart of quizzing action at Paisley's Canal Station, so I thought it was about time I got the finger out and recapped on all that's gone down since. This of course serves two purposes: it let's all of you who haven't tried it yet know exactly what you've been missing out on, and it will help jog the memories of those who came, saw and swiftly forgot.

So with all of that said, let's take a look at the most recent result and work our way back...

Sunday 3rd November

1st - Two Mutts and a Giraffe - 39 Points - Sadly Thomas couldn't handle the beast on his Canal Station debut so the money rolls over to £175 next week
2nd - My wife can't wrestle, but you should see her box (aka the Bar Staff) - 36 points
3rd - The Mighty Morphin Flower Arrangers - 31 points
=4th - KC - 26 points
=4th - Mac 7 - 26 points


Sunday 27th October

1st - The Staff - 44 points
2nd - Young Guns - 41 points
3rd - Mighty Morphin Flower Arrangers - 38 points
4th - Dafty Duck - 26 points
5th - Mac 5 - 19 points (-10 in the last round, OUCH!)


Sunday 20th October

1st - The Pure Hingers - 49 points
2nd - The Hobbits - 39 points
3rd - Mac 6 - 37 points
4th - Atomic Kitten with a Medium in the Dark (Whatttt?) - 30 points
5th - 3 Stooges - 29 points
6th - Olie and Henri - 26 points

A stunning score from the decidedly hungover Pure Hingers couldn't help them in the Play Your Cards Right round. Eventually, every team faced the cards (who knew there could be so many pairs in a deck) before The Pure Hingers got their chance to face The Beast. They were, of course, promptly dispatched.


Sunday 13th October

1st - Universally Challenged - 46 points
2nd - Still Game - 45 points
3rd - PG Tips - 40 points
4th - Mac 6 - 39 points
5th - Mighty Morphin Flower Arrangers - 33 points
6th - Dancing in the Dark - 32 points


Sunday 6th October

1st - With Full Marks - 47 points
2nd - Mighty Morphin Flower Arrangers - 44 points
3rd - BAR - 30 points
4th - Mac 2 - 29 points
5th - Davey - 8 points (to be fair to Davey, he did only complete the opening round before acting as a freelance trivia adviser to the other teams)

That's all for now. I'll do my best to make this a weekly review, rather than a monthly :p Get your arses down to Canal Station this Sunday for your chance at the £175 jackpot.

See you all then,

Scott

It's a new day for the Canal Station quiz, so we've got a NEW Quizmaster to host things...

Quizmaster Scott will be rocking the party on Sunday nights in Paisley.

Top quality!

Phew what a scorcher!

Yes, it's far too hot this summer for the pub quiz, so we'll be back when the nights start drawing in - the Canal Station Paisley pub quiz returns Sunday 6th October with Captain Stu rocking the boat as usual.

Get it in the diary.