What did the barman say to Shakespeare?
from Cosmo and Wanda
A Glasweigan appears in Dragon's Den with a shotgun and a bag.
"What's the idea?" Peter Jones asks.
"It's pretty simple Peter. just put the fucking money in the bag."
from Pull out before you quiz
What is the difference between Jam and Marmalade?
You can't marmalade your cock down your girlfriend's throat.
from Down Under