A Ned free zone in Dukes Bar this week - we waited as long as we could for an emergence of Tracksuit wearing terrors, but eventually had to give up - and get down to Quizness.

Quizzly Bears, Team Jammy, The Nearly on Timers & Steve Buschemi Shimmys all gave it a good go and it was Quizzly Bears who powered through to take the Champions Certificate and sparkly wine.

The most envied man in the whole of Finnieston was Quizzly Bear Rob who got to take on The Beast for the BIG money. All £15 of it!

The Beast was a big racist wife beating bastard though same as usual - so it's a £25 rollover situation next week. 

Chin chin

Sir James

Winner of the Fun Round this week was the lanky ned who bammed in during my Benny Hill music. Classic.

What was less classic was the half hour he spent menacingly trying to get a drink and being refused service before the polis arrived. Hash tag, AWKWARD.

In terms of the teams, here was how it finished...

Dr Fucking Who Winners
Jammy
Jane
Rolf Harris: Tie Me 2 Little Boys Down Sport
Nae Pals Applause

An emotional night where citizens arrest hero Stewart thoroughly deserved his £50 cash victory. He shared it with his Dr Fucking Who team fairly by giving them a tenner. That's the spirit!

Next week, back to basics - and don't forget the dress code - no track suits permitted....

Chin chin

Sir James

Dukes Bar Pub Quiz cemented its place as the Best place to celebrate your birthday on a Monday night this week as Daft Spunk's gun show claimed a victory. Next week now I'm demanding another royal baby!

Funnest Team were these kittens, who also had the most unusual name of the evening... They were called Philebus Quibles, which I pronounced perfectly on every occasion. Cough cough.

Team Jammy started off with 50% less Jam and 200% more bread - but finished up with a full jam jar, but no prizes for a change. Turns out that Jam Jar was half empty after all!

Kilby Allstars here had to be coerced by Team Jammy into taking on The Beast. Team Jammy also gave the Allstars the right answer for The Beasts bastard question, but Jennifer was determined to leave with NOTHING. Well done Jennifer!

Jennifer's Beasting left the way open for New Regular quiz Kittens Oh the Humanitie! to create a beautiful £50 rollover jackpot poster in their typical style. What class. Let's see a close up...

Speaking of beauty there was an on official Brass Monkey night out in to enjoy the fun of the quiz. I am not bitter that I wasn't asked along, no, I'm not bothered at all.

Next week then it's a £50 situation!

Chowmein!

Sir James

Here they are + a scary glow in the dark balloon! Team Colin won the Dukes pub quiz beating Quizzly Bears into second place by a single point.

Best joke of the night in my estimation was this picture of the royal baby...

But it wasn't just a royal birthday we were celebrating, it was my birthday too! A big thanks to all the teams who came out solely to celebrate me and ended up doing a pub quiz...

Colin Winners
Quizzly Bears
Bob
Oh, the Humanitie!
Daft Spunk
No Chance
G-Dragon Applause

We'll be doing it all again next week, minus the royal birthdays, balloons and cake and with a bigger cash prize!

Chin chin

Sir James

A big well done to Team Jammy here who won £75 tonight - £15 from Dukes bounty pot and £60 from the Milngavie kitty by accident. Whoopsie!

Lucky for me Team Jammy realised they had too much cash and wanted to maintain quiz equilibrium and so volunteered to hand BACK the Milngavie portion of the cash. This left them with a tidy £2 win after their celebratory round of drinks. Cash-back!

These guys claimed to be Quizophobics. I've never met anyone scared of sequins before. They were so scared they ended up losing, but at least they got a decent round of applause for their efforts. That's the spirit!

These guys formed Team USA and were BIG fans of Die Hard and Lethal Weapon, were not happy for them to be momentarily mixed-up. Whoops! Next I'll be accidentally giving away extra cash...

These crazy kittens were funnest team claiming a record breaking THREE packs of biscuits The Nairn Bairns showed great quiz generosity by sharing the biscuits. That's what it's all about.

More love at the quiz next week.

Sir James

xXx

Teri here used her super-vadge to pussy-power her way to a Fanjita watering £75 cash jackpot! Cash-back.

Team Jammy put a brave face on it, despite their lack of jam. Usually at the end of a night they are surrounded by £20 notes covered in biscuit crumbs, but not tonight, oh no.

For some reason these crazy kittens thought the pub quiz was a monthly affair... Whatever could have given them that idea eh! I think they have got the message now it's a weekly affair, and I believe it is in their diary for next month - just as well as there is NO quiz next week.

Aye, it's a week off or a "wee calf" as it's known in glasgow!

Quizzly Bears did a decent job of pretending not to be the team who won 2 quizzes last week. And there was only one domestic over the names of English counties... Back by popular demand!

Next week then, it's a wee calf - and then it's these folk you have to beat off! And I don't mean in a George Michael in the loos kinda way either.

All the best

Sir James

Quizzly Bears were the winners tonight in Dukes. Making up for their Champions Quiz absence in style!

Rachibear took on The Beast, but his malevolent evil was too strong. So strong the jackpot climbs up to £75. Not too shabby.

Also in attendance were Kristopher/Rose - they were just back from holiday and still drinking like it was all-inclusive. Their final round entry consisted of a selection of smiley faces in the place of answers.

No-one ever said these guys didn't have balls. And tonight Team Stevie had enormous balls to be precise - Wesley Warren's Ten Stone Testicles. That's a lot of balls right there!

This quizteam was welcomed in late - regulars at The Wise Monkey, they didn't realise there was quiz awesomeness to be had on their own doorstep. As a result they called themselves The Newcomers, and now they've got a whole week to come up with a better team name!

A busy night in Bar Dukes included Cult of Yarn who as you can see were keen knitters! What you can't see though is how much they loved the Romans. In a word - Maximus!

Team Jammy were back again, but surely they couldn't win the quiz AGAIN?! That would be outrageously Jammy...

Team Happy Birthday here were celebrating Morag's 60th in true Glasgow style - with Vodkas all round! They were very offended when I thought it was Gin. I forgot life begins at 60!

Snuggling up in the other booth a team who were Not Entirely Sure. Possibly a new addition to my Worst Team Names Ever webpage?! We'll see...

A DOUBLE thumbs up here from Team BIFLER - which apparently refers to the act of smacking your cock against someone's face. This is according to them as I telly don't want to get caught Googling it...

Back from the Engagement party and bringing reinforcements, quiz converts Fanculo here had to make TWO teams because they were so popular. Nightmare!

In the end it was Team Jammy who won the day! They won the Fun Round and designed this GREAT retro arcade tribute £60 rollover poster. They won the sparkly wine for winning the quiz and they won NO money, because Jim Davidson was a bastard as usual.

So it's a £60 rollover and this team won't be back after I didn't read out their racist joke.

They weren't happy - and there I was thinking the EDL had a sense of humour.

Until next time - Chin chin!

Sir James

These bastards won the quiz. Apparently they were all called "Stevie"...

The losing team were well chuffed with their low scoring antics, as you can see they gave it the "thumbs up" treatment...

It wasn't my fault that when I asked them for ten DIFFERENT soft drinks they got to nine and gave up!

Colin and Scott were joined late on by a buxom beauty. So in the interests of celebrating 100 years of feminism I only charged them £2.50. £1 for each cock and 50p for the fanny. That's feminism right there.

Catherine Zeta Jones Poisonous Pussy had a truly disturbing picture entry for us. WARNING: Do not look at the following picture if you have ever felt empathy before in your life.

I did warn you.

Next week it's a roll over, so please fuck off til then.

Sir James

A quieter than usual Monday in Dukes. That's the trouble with a holiday weekend - every bastard and their gran is on holiday.

As a result of the lack of competition there was a ginger in the winning team. Malta Medics got the round of applause as they were beaten by Barman Colin who wasn't even trying. Here they are looking beautiful.

The BIG news is the BIG money rolls over - yes it's a life changing £26 rollover - here's a poster I had to design myself, because there was no-one at the quiz to do it for me.

See you next week!

Chin chin

Sir James