And what a lovely family friendly poster to advertise the event tonight.

Resident big-dong Quizguy Martin will present his beard for inspection later.

Word.

A big well done to these crazy quiz lovers who beat off their rivals (oops pardon) to be crowned best of the 7 teams in the Brunkey.

Next week more love.

Stay safe people!

Breaking news from Brunkey is Handsfree Lightsabres beating off 8 rival teams like Jim Davidson beats his wives to claim the Winners Certificate!

The Beast got the last laugh as the cash jackpot climbs to £50.

Quizguy Martin will love you longtime next week!

A busy night with only one notable absence - Rolf Harris was nowhere to be seen.
I can't imagine why he didn't make it along!
I'm sure he'll be there next week...

11 teams tried and failed to grab The Beast's bounty, which means...

Quizguy Martin will be back next week with footballing skills equivalent to a man going to a funeral.
Whose funeral? 
Possibly the funeral of Rolf Harris's career...

We'll see!

It's a £150 rollover in Brass Monkey this week. Cash-back!

Quizguy Martin will have his massive wad out (not cock, wad) - Team Jammy here designed this top quality poster to advertise the big money. Jolly decent of them!

Good luck getting the cash on Thursday!

Not the most riveting of quiz reports, but here it is...

There was a lot of people at the quiz. 9 teams in total.

There was a lot of people at the Brass Monkey that weren't there for the quiz . About a hundred.

Jimmy Savile's Damp Cigar won the quiz. They done so in the last round.

No one won the cash jackpot. £50 rollover next week.

From the winning team (pictured below) one of these people has kissed a girl from Steps. Apparently.

If I had said, "From the winning team (pictured below) one of these people has kissed a girl from Steppes" that might be more believable. Fact

Laters.

Fact.

Quizguy Martin

Not really a scandal.

More the Brass Monkey's resident Quizmaster being a complete fanny.

Yes, I wrongly stuck down second placed Handsfree Lightsabres on the Winners certificate as opposed to Team #. You can see by the above photograph that they were not impressed. Sorry guys.

The reason Handsfree Lightsabres were on my mind, was because they took down the cash even though they finished just behind the first placed team.

"How was this possible!?!", I hear one person scream.

Well Team # had first go at the cards, but have taken the clever idea to say "same" no matter what card comes out first... It may pay off for them at one point. It probably won't. If it does though...

Needless to say, Janet from Handfree Lightsabres took the opportunity with both hands, three toes and one of her breasts, and deafeated the cards easily.

Next was the Final Question, and with the knowledge of Biffy Clyro lodged in teammate Ian's head, they won £50. BOOM!

After Round 1 Charmazing (pictured) became one of my favourite teams because of this...

Q. Which character does Michael Douglas play in his new movie? Clue - This character was the highest paid entertainer in the world at the time.

The answer they put down was Iron Man.


This wasn't a joke answer. They misheard. What the fuck did they think I asked!?!

They even put down the answer 'Iron Man' for one answer per round, including the Fun Round - which they won...

A Sottish man, an Irishman and an Iron Man walk into a bar.

Comedy genius

Fact.

Quizguy Martin

It's not often we get celebrities popping into to the Brass Monkey quiz.

Yes, I know I count as a celbrity myself and, ok, there was that time when Bill Roach popped in for a fresh, handmade pizza - ham and pineapple if you were wondering - but I have to admit that even I was taken aback when it was pointed out to me that two thirds of ninties boy band 911 (should that be 91 or 11?) were in the pub!

I initially thought it was a joke - that they were allowed to make a comeback tour (kidding guys) - but after confirming they were who they said they were, they posed for photos and signed autographs.

Top blokes.

After all those celebrity shenanigans, here how it finished after all was said, done, and handed in...

1. Jamie Clydesdale's Halitosis #heeatsshit - Winners!
2. PCPCH Night Oot - £50 Cash Winners!
3. Passing through
4. 2 and a 1/2 pints
5. 2 Blondes, 1 Ginger - Funnest Team!
6. Penetrate and finish
7. Nae tother a' ba'
.
.
.
.
.
.
911. Lee and Jimmy - Round of Applause!

Jamie Clydesdale's Halitosis (pictured above) had the first pop at the cairds but, after getting a '4' and saying 'the same' - it's never the same! - they promptly got a '7' for their troubles.

For those of you that aren't as clever as Carol Vorderman, a '7' is higher than a '4'.

Next up where RCPCH Night Oot who after beating the cairds, answering the Final Question right and winning £25 told me they were dogging a works conference so couldn't be seen at a pub quiz... Two bits of cleverly sheiding paper though, and we had a winners pic (below).

Above you will see 2 Bimbos, 1 Ginger (who obviously picked up some strays during the night) who took home the title of Funnest Team with...

Q. What's 6" and begins with a "P"?
A. A shite.

Classic i.e. very old, but enough to win them Space Raider-y goodness and some other tat.

I'll see you at the Brass Monkey next Thursday for another £25 cash jackpot.

Fact.

Quizguy Martin

It was a stonker of a quiz on Thursday 6th June, with seven team in total popping along to the Brass Monkey to partake in the evenings frivolities. The guys pictured above, The Bawbags, told me they were going to win the money - no, not the quiz... just the money - and this was after they walked in 15 minutes late, meaning they missed the first round!

If you're wondering why they have strange looks on their faces, surely it's pretty obvious as to why...

The have crystal balls.

And here's how the quiz itself finished...

1. Real Men work at Capita #redundancy - Winners!
2. Sloan Zone
3. The Bawbags - £50 Cash Winners!
4. Collosal Velocity
5. Toni GHT - Funnest Team!
6. Two Little Monkeys
7. Funk that ship - Round of Applause!

The Fun Round winners were indeed Toni GHT and judging by his winning entry (oo-er missus!) we were in the midst of an artisitic genius that would even make Tony Hart's paintbrush go limp.

No, that's not a euphamism

The overall winners were the Real Men... team (pictures below) who despite having the threat of redundancy over some of their heads, still managed to squirrel away some pennies to get shit-faced on rose wine every Thursday.

Aye, that's devotion fir ye!

I'll see you at the Brass Monkey next Thursday with another £25 to be won, and more biscuits and fun too.

Fact.

Quizguy Martin

Eight teams. Fifty quid. One guy reading out questions.

That's basically how the quiz went, and here's how the quiz finished...

1. Handsfree Lightsabres - Winners!
2. Iron Apes - Cash Winners!
2. Quiz in my pants - Funnest Team!
4. Quizee Raaarscals
5. When's the funny quiz guy turning up?
6. Eddie Quizzard
7. Jaggy Thistles
8. Quiztina Aquilera - Round of Applause!

The winning joke from Quiz in my pants was a lovely variation on the little girl falling off the swing joke, and there were some decent drawings handed in too...

The quiz was won by the Handsfree Lightsabres who once again were defeated by the cards. Janet used to be a dab hand and knowing when was best to go up, then down - oooh er missus! - but her skills have deserted her.

For now...

The Iron Apes, pictured at the top of the report, won the £50 (or 2 x £25 i.e. 2 ponies.... Jeez!) and celebrated by buying a shot of tequlia each.

They all paid for their shots individually, splitting 5 tenners.

Ah, I miss the student life...

Fact.

Quizguy Martin